between tenderness and rage

Sometimes I find myself thinking over my conversations with friends and people. At times seeing too much into casual talk and banter leads me into obsessive pondering and my mind spins and I start reviving past dialogs. I sometimes become inflamed or hyper sensitive about what people say or when they make general comments. I guess I take it too personally. Then, in retrospect, I start to understand that people just say what they say with little negative intent behind their comments. Perhaps I am submitting to politeness or being naive but by letting it go and not having the urge to control everything around me produces a lightness of spirit. The between feeling of tenderness and rage is an activity I try not to involve in my everyday living, but at the same time, I find people ridiculously contentious and maybe insensitive to what we utter, what we express. We all say silly things and often want to retract our talk or wished we hadn't said it, but still, I am torn between a tenderness and rage. Is it worth the battle to clear the air, to confront he person in charge? It depends on circumstance and the context at hand. Tenderness and rage....to simply allow people to be who they are is one of the greatest challenges; without judgment, without criticism, without scorn is ultimately the ideal act of charity.